When We Quit Using Words…

When we quit using words I thought something was wrong with me. The volume increased with my persistent internal chatter, Am I doing enough? Am I trying hard enough? Am I sexy enough? Pretty enough? Am I the problem?”

When we quit using words, with time, my eyesight sharpened. I saw you in a different light with hawk-like senses. I listened to your breathing and began to recognize your mood simply walking into the room. I knew what was expected of me without asking.

When we quit using words, I quit asking of you and the tether binding me to you fell slack.

When we quit using words I began listening to myself and my vocabulary grew. First I eliminated words like hope and trying. I spoke words like choice, responsibility, forgiveness, and self-love. Eventually, I severed the tether and stood alone. I was no less lonely.

Now, I see myself before I gaze upon you. I listen to my heart and the words choose life, choose life. I hear myself exclaim I love you Wren.

I notice you watching me to follow my lead. Your passive agreement is our new bond. I accept it for now as I become fluent in the language of life. My life. It requires some practice after years of silence.